Yup, that was awkward

Several weeks ago I lost my job. I immensely enjoyed many of my coworkers and one of the hardest parts of my job loss (aside from paycheck loss) has been not seeing my coworkers regularly. Last week I set up a lunch date for today with two friends and we agreed on lunch at a restaurant near their office. Shortly after we started eating (I had a fabulous asparagus soup!), a woman came up to our table, leaned over one of my friends, her back towards me, and briefly spoke to my friend. It took me a few seconds, but I recognized her as one of the Administrative Assistants from my former office. As she stood back up, she turned in my direction, just enough to see me, and I started to raise my hand in a greeting. Without any acknowledgment in my direction she immediately turned away from me and went back to her table. Of course, she was at a table directly behind us (in my direct line of sight) with three other women from that office. I knew three of the four women at the table, although admittedly on a very formal basis. However, they all knew my name and we occasionally exchanged pleasantries in the hall. Strangely, the other two women treated me in exactly the same way. One of them looked directly at me and then looked immediately away, and I know the third saw me. I certainly tried to at least wave hello, but apparently they would have none of that. It seemed rather strange to me and was quite uncomfortable. Lest I make them out to be the villains of the story, I'm sure I wasn't exactly gazing on them with an expression one would give to long-lost friends from yester-year. That said, I was quite surprised by their behavior. They didn't have to fawn over me, but I suppose I expected some degree of cordiality, even if entirely feigned. How awkward. I wish I knew how to say that in at least three other languages.

So what to make of this situation? The whole lay-off experience was not pleasant for anyone in the office. Perhaps indifference is their best method of coping. Perhaps friendliness masked true dislike or ill will toward me. Perhaps they were all suffering from extreme indigestion. Perhaps they all forgot who I am. Perhaps I completely misread the situation. Perhaps they thought I was (unknowingly) giving them an evil eye so potent they all wanted to crawl under the table and weep. Whatever the reason, the more noble, charitable part of me wants to believe there are lessons to be learned from this situation. I just wish I had more insight on what they are. Maybe I'll ruminate and then use my next blog post to provide insightful and moving discourse on the meaning of human interaction and the misunderstood psyche. Or maybe not.